Tuesday, May 1, 2018

10 Guaranteed Ways to be a Bad Ass Mom

It's hard to know if you're a good mom or if you're doing a good job.  There are no Grammy awards given for best performance or Nobel Peace Prizes for promoting peace among siblings.

It turns out, love is only part of the job, all be it a very important part.  Showing up for the job day in and day out, is equally important.

I know it sounds weird but I was surprised to find out that motherhood is 24/7, 7 days a week, 52 weeks out of the year, 365 days a year, you get the picture.

Here are 10 guaranteed ways to be a bad ass mom straight from the Yuppie Chicana playbook.

  1. Dress for success - You just brought a human into the world.  Go ahead and place a check mark next to the successful box.  As long as you're not walking around naked, you're good.  Spit up, vomit, urine, and sometimes feces, can and will be part of your wardrobe.  WASH AND REPEAT. 
  2. Keep a steady pace all day - Scratch that! Take a nap when you can, sit and reflect when possible.  Breathe in and out.  You've got this girl! 
  3. The IT bag - This can be a plastic bag from Albertsons or an overpriced designer purse.  All that matters is that you have diapers, wipes, and your insanity, I MEAN SANITY.  
  4. Sleep when they do - I heard this advice a lot when my girls were babies.  Sleep will never be the same.  You will now sleep with one eye open for the rest of your life.  
  5. Get out of the house - Get out of the city, the state, even the country.  It's hard, I know, but TAKE THE TRIP.
  6. Lower your expectations but not your efforts - Whatever you thought motherhood would be like, forget it and take each day as an opportunity to learn something new.  
  7. Believe in yourself - Motherhood can be overwhelming at times.  From pregnancy to the college years, from the flu virus, to grandchildren, it's going to be alright.  Tattoo that on your boob! 
  8. Have fun - Motherhood is one of the most enjoyable perks of life.  Joy and fun will spontaneously pop up when you least expect it.  Feel free to sprinkle it into everything.  
  9. Do something just for you - If your life is anything like mine, alone time is scarce.  Everyone needs you and finding time to do something for yourself, feels impossible.  Start with 20 minutes and over time, increase the dosage.  
  10. Skip the guilt - ENOUGH SAID.
The winner of the 2017 Mom of the Year Award goes to..........YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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