Monday, July 30, 2012

Confessions of a Yuppie Chicana

I recently read the hilariously snarky book, "Confessions of a Scary Mommy," by Jill Smokler and it gave me the most wonderful idea. Reading all those confessions from real moms has inspired me to do the same on my own blog but with a Yuppie Chicana twist. So here goes.

I only get "Latina" when I'm drunk or angry and it's not pretty.

My drink of choice is tequila, not the Skinny Girl stuff but real Patron silver.

Sometimes I google anger management groups in my area but then I get so pissed off with our slow Internet connection that I forget all about my anger.

When I catch a cold I literally sweat it out by dancing to Ricky Martin in my living room.

I don't know if I want anymore kids. I can't afford to go up another bra size.

I've been forgetting some of my Spanish so I started watching novelas again.

I can't understand people who don't like flan.

I wish my husband liked Frida Kahlo so I could put her paintings in every room of our house. I'd put the one where she's giving birth to herself over our bed.

Sometimes I talk with my hands so much I think it distracts people.

If I could wear all my jewelry at once I would.

Sometimes I refrain from curling my hair just so I don't make others jealous.

Some days I worry if my daughter will be able to stand up for herself later on in life and then I remember, she's Latina.

I'd love to get a PhD if my thesis could be on the life and career of Shakira.

I don't always make Mexican food but when I do it gives the term Moctezuma's Revenge a whole new meaning.

photo by Cool Chicana Art by Sabrina...
From the textmex obsessed imagination of William A. Nericcio

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Greek family versus Latino family

What do you get when you combine a Yuppie Chicana with a Cypriot Greek?  Whatever it is, it's always late and very hairy.  

As I sit here in the Mediterranean with a chain smoker on my right and a guy ordering his twentieth frappe´on my left, I know it comes as no surprise to my readers that I wish to uncover the nuances of being in a Greek family versus a Latino family. 

My experience with Greek family is limited to Cypriot Greeks, the craziest kind.  And my experience with Latin family is primarily based upon Mexican Americans.  There is never a dull moment in our household.

If you are a male born into a Greek family, you can take a deep breath.  You've hit the jackpot.  Males are the dominant gender to the point that if you are not careful, you may never learn how to do anything for yourself.  

If you are a female born into a Mexican American family, the good news is you are the smartest person on earth, you can do everything on your own and you are always right.  You are just a joy to be around. 

If your mom is Greek, she probably asks you what you want for dinner.  If she's Mexican American, you eat what is on the table.  You want to place an order?  Go to Filibertos!

If you're Greek, your giagia lives with you and seems to have more in common with the lady that cleans your house then with your mom.  

If your grandmother is Mexican American she has a hundred things she'd rather be doing than take care of you.  Her parents didn't immigrate to the United States so she could change diapers for the rest of her life.  

If your grandfather is Greek he might as well be Latino. He's probably a W.C.B.C., (womanizing, cigarette smoking, booze loving comedian).  Gotta love them! 

If you're Greek, the sound of someone spitting on you means they wish you the best.  If you're Mexican American and someone spits on you, it's on like donkey kong!

If you have both Greeks and Latinos in your family, you are probably taking a high blood pressure medication, have a left leg that twitches and you can successfully listen to five conversations while updating your Facebook status.  

Family is sacred.  But if you are Greek or Latino, it's just plain scary!!!!!

With love from Cyprus!


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