Friday, November 1, 2013

A Matter of Life or Death




If put to the test, most of us would choose life over death, unless you're at a party and someone is wearing the exact same outfit in a smaller size, then that's a different story.

When our time comes, we're not given a choice. If we were, maybe we could barter for a few more seconds with loved ones or minutes or pictures with better lighting because that's all they are going to have anyway.

What about some sort of warning or countdown? That sure would give New Year's Eve in Times Square a whole new meaning. I know these things don't exist for a good reason, so as not to drag out the inevitable, but wouldn't it be nice to know something about what it's like in death?

I'm sort of new to this death thing. I'm not actually dead although my writing might bore you to death. My grandfather recently passed away as did millions of other people's loved ones. Thankfully, you and I were spared. But for how long?

We will never know until our time comes. For now, I know this. I know I want my life to be celebrated and this is how.

1. I want to be buried with all my jewelry on. It's not that I want some future archeologist to think I was rich, I just wish I could wear it all now but apparently that's weird unless you're a gypsy.

2. Halfway through the Catholic mass at my funeral, I'd really like someone to stand up and shout, "Let's get this party started!"

3. Don't buy flowers when I die. Go to a liquor store, buy a bottle of Patron Silver and poor a little out for your homie, but not too much, that shit is expensive.

4. Rent a dance hall and dance the night away. Feel free to use the playlists on my Iphone.

5. Cry it out. I'm talking swollen blood shot eyes with snot dripping from your nose kind of crying. I know it'll be hard to go on without my judgmental impatient ways but you can do it. There's got to be a support group out there called, how to carry on when your Latina is gone.

6. Don't mess with my family or loved ones when I'm gone. You do not want a Chicana ghost visiting you. You think we have hot tempers now, wait until we have nothing to lose.

So in honor of all those we've lost, Feliz Dia de los Muertos and here's to you,

Nana Amanda, Monica y mi querido Tata.

See you soon, but hopefully not too soon.

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